5 Ways to Support A Friend with Breast Cancer

When a friend or loved one tells you they have breast cancer, it can be hard to know how best to support them. While the individual tales of each person with breast cancer share some of the same contours, the details and the story arcs can be vastly different.

Most patients are women, but a small fraction are men. There are different types of breast cancer, and people are diagnosed at different stages.

Mammograms detect many cases of breast cancer, but some women discover it on their own. Although routine breast self-exams are no longer recommended as part of screening guidelines, many health professionals still see a value in them.

Of course, women choose different treatment options depending on their diagnosis, prognosis, and overall health, values, and priorities. Some women choose conventional therapies — including surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and medication — and others opt for an alternative approach.

With all these differences, it’s hard to always know how to support someone going through a breast cancer journey or any other life-altering diagnosis. With breast cancer affecting one in eight women in the U.S., knowing how to be there for someone during this challenging time is essential.

Here are five ways to offer meaningful support:

1. Reach Out Without Expecting a Reply
   Let your friend know you’re there by sending a simple text, email, or voicemail. A message like “You don’t have to respond; I just want you to know I’m here when you need me” can go a long way. Responding to messages can be overwhelming during treatment, so be patient and don’t take it personally if your friend doesn’t reply right away.
2. Offer Nourishment, Not Just Comfort Gifts
   While blankets and candles are thoughtful, a gift card for a food delivery service or a home-cooked meal might be even more appreciated. Good nutrition is essential, but cooking can be exhausting during treatment. Strong food smells may trigger nausea, so delivering a favorite dish to their doorstep without intruding can be a great way to help. Setting up a meal train—where friends and family coordinate to bring meals on different days—can also be an excellent way to ensure your loved one has a steady supply of nutritious meals without the stress of planning or cooking.
3. Dial Down the Sympathy
   Treat your friend with care, but avoid pity. It’s comforting for them to be seen as more than their diagnosis. Laugh, talk about everyday life, and keep things as normal as possible. This can help your friend feel grounded and supported without constantly being reminded of their illness.
4. Share Experiences Wisely
   If you know someone who’s been through a similar journey, feel free to share helpful tips, but avoid recounting horror stories or negative outcomes. Offering practical advice without overwhelming your friend can be reassuring, but be careful not to add to their anxiety inadvertently.
5. Connect Them with Others Who Understand
   If you know a cancer survivor willing to share their experience, consider connecting them with your friend. Conversations with someone who has navigated similar treatment can help reduce fear and offer a sense of control. Learning from others who have been there can make a huge difference in coping with the process.

Lastly, be mindful of the questions you ask. Allow your friend to share updates on their treatment on their terms. Supporting a loved one through cancer is about loving them where they are, offering help without overwhelming them, and respecting their journey.